#Reverb10 - Lesson Learned

Prompt for today:
Lesson Learned. What was the best thing that you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I have to say, I honestly learned that I was fragile in 2010. All of my life, I've been called the "strong one" and was told that I had a thick skin, that I was a tough girl. I believed it too. I managed to move through life pretty unaffected by various and sundry things. I wasn't one to show my vulnerability or my scars. I believed that life wasn't about crying or being sad. Getting up and dusting yourself off was just easier. In fact, my motto for life was "just keep it simple, stupid". And I honestly thought I could sustain that kind of a pace.

This past year, I learned that my emotions had limitations and boundaries. As hard as I tried, I couldn't just "get up" and "move along". Honestly, I've cried more this year than I ever have before in my life - this coming from a girl who never really cried or got emotional over anything. Ever. I never thought I'd be the type to have a heartbreak or crushing defeat but there I stood, a 22 year old junior in college, feeling a very real emotional rift. All of my emotional walls came tumbling down with a bang. The measures that I had put in place to protect myself caved in.

And you know what? It was a good thing. I learned that I have limitations, that I feel pain and emotions more deeply than I realized. It took years and years of building up barriers and they were knocked down in an instant. It's a frightening thing, a vulnerable feeling, to be so exposed to someone. But it's a healing thing and a positive thing at the same time. I've learned that being transparent, especially to my girlfriends, is a wonderful gift. To have people that I trust, that means so much to me! Being vulnerable isn't always being weak. Sometimes when you show your weaknesses, it's a sign of strength.