Achieve. What's the thing you want most to achieve next year? How do you imagine you'll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.
This post is kind of hard to write because it's so personal to me and something that I really really really don't like addressing in any kind of way. My weight. It's something that I've always struggled with, gone up and down. I've had a love/hate relationship with my body from the very beginning. And I can't help but feel a pinch of narcissism as I write this post, because I'm not obese or even really "fat". I'm very very uncomfortable in my own skin. Now, this doesn't mean that I'm at a healthy weight. I should/need to loose around 20-30 lbs to be in a healthy BMI range.
When I read this prompt, the first thing that I really wanted to achieve was control over this battle that I've been fighting for my whole life. It seems that I've always been on a diet, thinking about my body's shape, feeling guilty about exercise... and the list goes on and on. There's always been some kind of dialog related to it. And it's just something uncomfortable to want victory over, like it's my dirty secret or something. But to be honest, I really don't have anything to hide. And the more that I try and act like it's not an issue for me, the worse I end up feeling.
If I could manage and/or win this battle this year, I honestly think that I'll feel relieved. I'm not trying to be some "hot" girl or get attention. What I really want is to be comfortable, not preoccupied with something like this. And it's really difficult to share something like this, because sometimes I feel like I'm just whining, like I want attention or something. But the truth is that I don't, I'm not a big fan of the spot light. I just want to clear the air and address this issue in my life, something that has always quietly been below the surface.
So, in the spirit of the post, and for the new year coming up, I'll just list five ways that will help me to have some sort of handle on this.
1. Joining Weight Watchers, for reals. I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. So, I'm scouting out meetings near UCLA. I don't want any gimmick diets, fads, or crazy ideas. I want real help.
2. Make rising early a priority. Too often, I start my day in a hurry, racing out of the door without breakfast, devotions, etc. In 2011, I want to make rising early a habit, so that I can grab a healthy breakfast, read the Bible, and possibly squeeze in a workout. Often, my workouts aren't scheduled. I just show up at the gym when I think I "need" it. It needs to be routine.
3. Make better choices. Honestly, I don't make horrible choices at all. I'm not a fast-food junkie. But I am a foodie, which means that I do enjoy food in all variations and types. I'm a Whole Foods, Trader Joe's and farmer's market kinda girl. The fresher, the better. I think I just need to, honestly, know when to stop.
4. Know when/where my limits lie. I need some boundaries, in regards to diet and exercise. I need self-control to actually stick to them, instead of just make them. It's really a difficult thing that challenges me everyday.
5. Make prayer a serious part of this endeavor. I can only do so much with my human strength. Sometimes, the best thing that can be done is to admit defeat. The Lord is the one who gives self-control, success, everything. Everything that I have been given (or will lose) is a reflection of God's lovingkindness and care in my life.
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