Today

Yeah, I'm having a little bit of a "slower" day.

It seems like some of my emotions come in waves

these days. They used to be constant. Now, it's

every once in a while. For that, I'm thankful.

But it doesn't feel so good when those

waves come. Today.... Today is one of those

days. I stop to pause and think a little bit.

I realize that I miss the way that things

used to be. And I realize that all of these

things in my life are changing, that

specific things about my past aren't a part

of this big wide future that's opening up for me.

While I'm so happy about what is to come,

there's a bit of a bitter taste still in my mouth.

All I know is that I cannot stay still, I cannot dwell

in the past. All I have is what is ahead of me. I look

out of my window and I see the blue sky and green

trees. I feel the sunshine on my shoulders and hear

the laughter of my friends. I realize that I'm learning

to be happy again. My darkness is lifting. That makes

me so encouraged and thankful. Today is a sad

celebration. Today is good and I can feel it getting

better.

Ingrid Michaelson

Oh My Goodness.

Yesterday was probably one of the best concert experiences EVER.

That's a bold statement, I realize but I'm not kidding

As you may (or may not) know, I'm a really big fan of

Ingrid Michaelson. I've always loved her musical style

and lyrics. She's a mix of indie, folk, and pop.

I saw her over spring break and was really really

impressed. After the concert, I decided to sign up

for her email list, in case she ever came to LA.

About a month ago, I got an email specially inviting

fans to one of her secret shows! The venue was at

Hotel Cafe, a really really small one that only holds

about 100-125 people. I immediately bought four

tickets. I'm glad that I did, because the show sold

out in TWO hours. Amazing.

The concert itself was awesome. She did the whole

thing solo, which was incredible. She was able to interact

with her fans and crack some jokes. She played some of

her favorite songs. I even got to request one! But my

favorite part was at the end of the night, where I actually

got to meet her! I was so excited, my heart was pounding

so hard! I brought a copy of my "Everybody" CD and she

signed it. I even took a few pictures with her too!

She was so sweet and kind. I told her that I was learning

to play the ukulele and as I walked past her to leave, she

called out and said "Good luck with your uke!" She's so

down to earth and loves her fans! I'm so blessed and

thankful that I was able to share this experience with

some really cool ladies who fully appreciated Ingrid!

This definitely was a night to remember!

Back in the Saddle

Oops. Too many social media outlets and I'm instantly a bad blogger. Sorry to all of my two readers, I haven't been very consistent. Well, things have been a little... crazy... at the casa de la Jessica. There's papers, tests, studying, etc. The list could go on for days. Take it from me, my days are FULL. Just consult my iCal. It's ear-marked and highlighted all over.

So... That's not really an adequate update. So, I'll share some exciting news with you. I know, my two readers... you have such privileges! Here goes my news...

I may be moving to France for a year after I graduate.

...what?

I'm serious. There's a program that the French government has that allows American post-grads to work in elementary/high schools for a year. You teach the kiddos English. They pay you, you work 12 hours a week. It's a pretty sweet gig. I've been toying with the idea of taking a year off between my undergrad and my graduate pursuit. This seems like a really fun and educational option. I'll be making money, living in France, getting a better mastery of the language, and hanging out with les enfants!

So that being said, please pray for me! I'm currently researching missionaries in France. I'm hoping that I'll be placed in a really good location. (i.e: Paris or Provence) I'd really like to be able to serve/hang out with missionaries over there. After all, I only work at the school 12 hours a week. I'll be having a lot of time on my hands.

I've suggested this idea to my parents, who are thrilled. They really think that a year off will be good for me. I'll be able to clear my head and be refreshed for grad school. I'll also open up my career options, with a proficiency in the French language.

My only issues are this:

- finding a good church that can keep me accountable.

- finding cheap and safe housing, wherever I am assigned.

Big news? I thought so. Please pray for me!

New Leaf?

I have decided to not be sad anymore.

I have resolved to let myself be truly, really, honestly happy.

I'm going to smile because I want to.

I'm going to laugh at all of the things that are funny.

I'm going to listen to the music that I like

and eat the food that I want.

I'm going to make my plans and

follow the sun.

As far as I can tell, it's leading

me back east. And for that, I really

am thankful.

Nikon FM10

That's right, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm going to England for the month of

August and Paris for one week this summer.

Instead of bringing my fatty SLR camera with

me, I'll just bring my little film camera.

My father used to develop his own film, so

hopefully we'll be able to develop and print

the negatives together after my trip is

over. That'll be really really fun!

I'm starting to collect film for the trip

... so far I have four rolls. How exciting!

Hanging out with my cameras makes

me very very VERY happy. They're my

babies and I can't describe how happy I

am behind the lens! It's the best feeling

ever! So... expect some cool shots sometime

in the near future!

Encouraging

Come Thou Fount

Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of God's unchanging love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I'm come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

What Do These Stones Mean To You?

Joshua 4:1-24

Now when all the nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord spoke to Joshua, saying, "Take for yourselves twelve men from the people, one man from each tribe, and command them, saying, 'Take up for yourselves twelve stones from here out of the middle of the Jordan, from the place where the priests' feet are standing firm, and carry them over with you and lay them down in the lodging place where you will lodge tonight.'"

So Joshua called the twelve men whom he had appointed from the sons of Israel, one man from each tribe; and Joshua said to them, "Cross again to the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan, and each of you take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the sons of Israel. "Let this be a sign among you, so that when your children ask later, saying, 'What do these stones mean to you?' then you shall say to them, 'Because the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off ' So these stones shall become a memorial to the sons of Israel forever."

Thus the sons of Israel did as Joshua commanded, and took up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, just as the Lord spoke to Joshua, according to the number of the tribes of the sons of Israel; and they carried them over with them to the lodging place and put them down there. Then Joshua set up twelve stones in the middle of the Jordan at the place where the feet of the priests who carried the ark of the covenant were standing, and they are there to this day. For the priests who carried the ark were standing in the middle of the Jordan until everything was completed that the Lord had commanded Joshua to speak to the people, according to all that Moses had commanded Joshua.

And the people hurried and crossed; and when all the people had finished crossing, the ark of the Lord and the priests crossed before the people. The sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh crossed over in battle array before the sons of Israel, just as Moses had spoken to them; about 40,000 equipped for war, crossed for battle before the Lord to the desert plains of Jericho. On that day the Lord exalted Joshua in the sight of all Israel; so that they revered him, just as they had revered Moses all the days of his life.

Now the Lord said to Joshua, "Command the priests who carry the ark of the testimony that they come up from the Jordan." So Joshua commanded the priests, saying, "Come up from the Jordan." It came about when the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the Lord had come up from the middle of the Jordan, and the soles of the priests' feet were lifted up to the dry ground, that the waters of the Jordan returned to their place, and went over all its banks as before. Now the people came up from the Jordan on the tenth of the first month and camped at Gilgal on the eastern edge of Jericho. Those twelve stones which they had taken from the Jordan, Joshua set up at Gilgal.

He said to the sons of Israel, "When your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, 'What are these stones?' then you shall inform your children, saying, 'Israel crossed this Jordan on dry ground.' "For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan before you until you had crossed, just as the Lord your God had done to the Red Sea, which He dried up before us until we had crossed; that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, so that you may fear the Lord your God forever."

Amen.

The hand of the Lord is, indeed, mighty. He leads us through really really difficult situations, like the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years, to show us that He is to be glorified and worshipped. Years from now, I will look back on these "stones" in my life and be exceptionally grateful. These mark God's faithfulness and lovingkindness in my life. These trials, which break and scar us, are indicators of growth and wisdom. They hurt, they cause tears and pain but they point to the Gospel. Even though today I'm wandering through my desert, I know that the promised land is so very close. Praise God!