Providence

I'm on the 4th floor of the YRL on campus right now as I write this. It's 5:30-ish and the sun has just sunk below the horizon. The rain clouds that have dominated the skies today are wonderfully painted in hues of pink and purples. I've had a pretty chaotic day on campus. I've had two difficult tests and a really tough class on Paradise Lost. It's times like this when I start to panic about my future and if I'm "cut out for this". I get so overwhelmed with all the difficult things that seem to be pilling up on top of me and it just gets hard to breathe. It's easy for me to just throw up my hands or to doubt where the Lord has put me.

Then, I realize that it's not up to me. As a Christian, the Lord has promised to work out all things for my good and for his glory. It's reassuring that God has my future and my best interest at heart. It's important in times like these that I have absolute trust in the Lord. It's really hard when I can't see the good in my situations or when I feel suffocated by all the work that lies ahead. I'm not afraid of the future. I just feel so overwhelmed all the time by things that I cannot control. It's hard when plaguing doubts and insecurities cloud your head. Sometimes, it's just hard to keep focused.

I see all the good that the Lord has done for me. He has been above and beyond all that I could ever ask or think. I look at the past and there is not one way that I have been in want. Everything that I have needed, the Lord has provided. On Sunday, I was meditating on the lyrics to "Great Is Thy Faithfulness". I was really encouraged by the last verse...

"Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth

Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!"

The line that's italicized has been my prayer these past

few days. I need the Lord's strength and the hope of the

gospel each and every day. The Lord has been so faithful to

provide me with the love of my dear friends and the promises

in the Bible. He has been so good to me, in the midst of all

of this chaos.